I've been pondering some about myself in relation to my world in my paintings lately. It's always difficult for me to articulate the connection between elements in my paintings and my feelings into words. I let my brush strokes created the images that struck my heart without questioning or analyzing further the reasoning behind that. I'm introverted so expressing my thoughts to others never comes out naturally. I was raised to always analyze the situation before saying something, so I won't wind up offending other people's feelings. That over analyzing habit has made me a quiet person whenever I am in a new environment:) It had always been a challenge, then I had to move here where I had to learn of how to think and express myself in my own voice but with a language that I didn't grow up with.
My paintings allow me to express whatever it's inside me without over analyzing the reason. My growth and artistic journey as an artist actually make me in tune with my feelings without analyzing it. I still can't express it thoroughly, but I understand more of my feelings. These two paintings are dealing with my captured memories during my journey. Remember how people always say to others about lost thing or person? They will say that that person or moment will stay with you in your heart. Whenever you miss it, you can always remember it. I think it's just a way for someone to console others' sad feeling or broken heart. I feel that once an event has passed, I just couldn't capture it back. I could try to convince myself that I've wrapped that beautiful moment into unforgettable memories, but then I realize that I've forgotten certain details. Once it's gone, it's just gone and I can't recreate it and all memories seep into this longing feeling over time. It makes me aware of my mortality as a human that one day I will want to hug the memories of certain things that soothe my heart, but those memories will be more and more imperfect and incomplete with time.
Secret Cabinet of Beautiful Memories
oil on linen
16" by 20"
2011
I Opened My Eyes and It Was Beautiful
oil on linen
16" by 20"
2011
4 comments:
What beautiful, rich colors! These have a really magical feel to them.
Hey Sara, thanks a lot:) I hope all is well with you ^ ^
I think you could always recall that missing details eventually when you see at the other details that have captured on your painting. Beautifully done! :)
Dewi: Thank you dear. Those missing details from memories are floating in my heart , and I can only sense the feeling from remembering them:)
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